Every curl has a story and mine is no exception.
In the beginning...
I had about as much hair as a tennis ball when I was born, but the older I got, the more hair grew, and curls blossomed. When I was a toddler, I had ringlets that were coveted by many. Accoridng to my mom, lots of moms from church put their little girls' hair up in rollers because of me. Heck, even the teenage girls did too. But it was also the early 90s, so curly hair was "in." Or did I contribute to that trend? We may never know.
By the time I was four, my curls were but a slightly wavy memory. But I was still so darn cute.
My hair was usually short for the next several years, partly because every time I wanted to grow my hair out, I would get annoyed and want another haircut.
Around fourth grade, my hair started curling again, and I finally made headway on growing it out. By fifth grade, it was shoulder length. In an effort to enhance my natural curl, a hairdresser cut my hair into layers.
The result of this haircut was traumatizing. I had a fro. "Hey Laura, would you consider your hair a bush or a tree?" This was just one of the comments that made me cry. This was only the beginning.
The Battle
My mom and I were always on the hunt for a product, stylist, magician, etc. to help me fight the frizz. Of course, it doesn't help that I was fighting this battle when stick straight hair was in vogue and every stylist's prescription was straightening my hair. I spent most of junior high and high school with my hair pulled back in some fashion, unless a friend took pity on me and insisted on straightening my hair for me.
I was never successful in straightening my hair myself because it took FOREVER to do. My hair is very thick and pretty coarse.
Needless to say, I didn't feel very attractive. After all, my hair's texture was undesirable according to whoever decides fashion and trends. It seemed like every time my hair was straightened, I got SO MANY compliments.
"Oh Laura, you're gorgeous! I had no idea!"
"You look so good with straight hair! You should do it more often!"
"Oh, you do look cute with your normal hair, but you look AMAZING with straight hair!"
You can imagine what this did to my teenage psyche.
When I was seventeen, my mom (whose hair is also naturally curly) started going to a new stylist whose solution was to chemically straighten our hair.
We both did this for about a year.
I would also go to him for special occasions so he could flat-iron my hair and make me look prettier (in my mind anyway)
Went off to college, and this was around the time hair straighteners were less expensive and easier to obtain, and it seemed like every girl's dorm room had one. I was not infrequently a favorite person to do makeovers on, though I did relent for a couple of dances.
Like this one:
I also volunteered as a model for a friend who was in hairdressing school (hey, I needed a haircut). She dyed, cut, and straightened my hair.
Before (hair was already dyed)
After:
Dang, I did look good. People who know me now may not think that the color was much darker than my current color, but I had so much damage from chemical relaxation and years of battling frizz that my natural hair color was quite a bit lighter than it is now. The whole experience was quite fun :)
By the way, I think a total of five guys commented on it (that was a concern at age 19). Not that it matters anymore. One of the more frustrating parts of dealing with my frizzy/curly hair back in the early 2000s was all the comments about how guys just prefer girls with straight hair. Being the contrary person I am, I decided that whomever I ended up with would love all of me...including my crazy hair.
I did have one roommate who taught me how to use a diffuser and mousse, although I overheard her one night talking to a date on the phone--she mentioned her "socially awkward roommate with bushy hair." Ouch. She didn't know I was home, and I never talked to her about it because she moved out just a few weeks later. I've forgiven her for the most part, but those words still sting a little.
Breakthrough
At some point after I left for college, my mom dumped our chemically-straight-happy hairdresser because of inappropriate comments he made. Her hair was also becoiming dry, brittle, and frizzier as a result of the chemical treatments and the hairdresser thinning her hair (incidentally, my hair was too). She found a new hairdresser who himself had curly hair. His name was Scott Childress.
He would change our lives.
My mom started taking me to see him whenever I came home on breaks. Little by little, he cut away the damage from years and years of using heat, getting my hair chemically straightened, and having it thinned. Every appointment, he would lavish praise on my mane and he would tell me that I was gorgeous. He was your stereotypical gay hairdresser and you couldn't help but love him. After every appointment, my mom would tell me that I would see a huge difference in my hair if I gave it time. I was, of course, skeptical.
Gave it time I did, and on one fateful day after he finished cutting and washing my hair (dry cuts for the win), this happened:
I'm pretty sure my jaw dropped on the floor when I looked in the mirror. This is my hair? My hair is CURLY?! My hair was even a different color--I had more than a few people ask if I had dyed it.
This was the beginning of me not completely hating my hair...and not completely hating myself for that matter.
There were still a few friends who straightened my hair because I dared them to try to do it in as little time as possible (because straightening my hair takes FOREVER). The record is about 45 minutes. Ain't no one got time for that.
Of course, my dating life didn't improve much, but oh well. C'est la vie.
Oh, remember how I said that I wanted a guy who would love all of me, curls included?
I found him and we just celebrated seven years of marriage.
Isn't he cute? I love him and how he puts up with my craziness.
Of course, the curly hair journey doesn't stop there :)
Transitions
Just a month before I gave birth to my first child, my mom sent me a link to a news story about a murder. The victim: our beloved Scott Childress. He was killed by his partner in a domestic dispute.
We were both absolutely devastated. For over five years, he was not only our hairdresser but our friend.
Life got crazy with having a new baby, husband graduating from college, moving, so getting my hair cut was not a high priority. I always had it up because of the baby and HELLO POSTPARTUM HAIR LOSS! Seriously, postpartum hair loss is no joke.
Plus, I didn't want to go through the process of having to find someone who knew how to do curly hair right. I did end up finding someone, but then she moved away.
I did occasionally skim naturallycurly.com, though I thought the whole "NO SULFATES! NO SILICONES!" was eyeroll worthy. I had exerpimented with a sulfate-free shampoo and conditioner in college and tried washing my hair with baking soda....both had tragic and frizzy results. That was the reason for my cynicism.
Plus, I am a bit cynical of the words "natural" and "organic".
Last winter, I found a new hairdresser who is a Deva certified stylist. She introduced me to Deva products and OH MY GOSH.
As soon as I got home from my hair appointment, I ordered the Deva Curl "How to Quit Shampoo" kit and would become even more of a product junkie.
Money Money Money
I wanted to try them all! And I just HAD to buy from curlmart because they sent THREE samples with every order! GASP!
This would become an expensive habit.
We have a minivan and some medical bills to pay off, and we want to save up for things like visiting my family (I'm very far from home) and someday buying a home. I don't want my hair to suffer while we're saving money, but I don't want to have to spend a ton to maintain it.
Thus inspiring the creation of this blog.
My plan is to buy inexpensive products to try out and give them a fair chance before completely giving up on them. There will probably be a few things on the pricey side that I'll decide are worth the investment, but I'm not going to go (too) crazy.
Just a note: this blog is intended for those whose hair is naturally wavy/curly. I have nothing against my straight-haired friends, but I'm afraid I know nothing about how to care for naturally straight hair. I'm all about embracing the texture you already have and working with that :)
